Blood On Our Hands

I am most disturbed by this red letter season
To continually fight, I no longer have a reason
The heart break remains cemented in the air
A corrupt, uncontrollable and loveless affair
We blame the heads and authorities
But we're all part of these atrocities
Relatives and friends of neighbours and work colleagues
Lose their lives or lose their children, killed like pigs
The hardest thing is to genuinely be a brother's keeper
You have to be weary of kindness or you lose your liver
Two hundred and more girls are somewhere
Innocent daughters and sisters can be found nowhere
Speculation and rumours about what will be done
But one single effective solution, there is none
This year alone, thousands of Jesuses
Who have died for the country's sins, lost legacies
Explosions in places that have no effect on the assembly
Residents and citizens who are out and hustling
They should have told their families they won't be returning
But soon, it'll be back to business as usual
Like our actions and efforts aren't crucial
Mothers are weeping day in and day out
Yet politicians are spending, going all out
Three hundred and sixty five days of doom
We allow ourselves suffer unending and blood red gloom
When will we pick up ourselves and face the reality
We're in hell if we'll be honest and discard vanity
The leaders are a waste of life and time
Murderers get away with their crime
To what end, what could be the conclusion to this tragedy?
Will an entire nation be wiped out totally?
Of course not
The upper class will protect themselves
The poor people's heads will soon decorate shelves
We don't hear of these in the well done areas
At every derailed junction, we call on the Omnipotent one
Perceived to be magical, poof and the dirt is gone
Sadly, everybody will hide under the themed hysteria
I'll know the government is fully to blame
When we the people shut down, not light flames
But decide nothing will work till something is done
I refuse to bring my child here to be born
I refuse to add to a community of valueless mentalities
A nation that allows itself rot with useless priorities
A few months ago it was the gay law
Now there are explosions, we're all gazing in awe
It doesn't affect you 'cause it wasn't your father or brother
Life goes on as long as its not your sister or mother
Africa's Giant, my left foot
Nothing but ashes and soot
They passed motions and laws to distract us from sight
Those who didn't fall for it still suffer the plight
They seized a natural resource
With no explanation or reasons, with force
But people seem fine with queuing up to five hours
We won't address these principalities in power?
We've become comfortable with the phrase
"Yes o, you know this is Naija"
God punish these bastards with fire
Oh wait, too late, people are already burning
Foreigners will soon start running
The economy will start dwindling
Those who think Dangote will be willing
To carry this damned economy all alone
Continue to be fooled, until you're left with a bone
I, for one, have no interest in the guilty party
I just want a solution for the unnecessary malarky.
Even if this country has to go down, let it not be greed
I am writing on behalf of all your unborn seeds
The ones who will be born into this national chaos
If not for goodness, so their lives won't be heinous
Without your permission, i resign this piece on this note
Nigeria has soiled the white on its coat

Fight

The dark clouds and night's breeze tickled me to sleep
So sweet, the more the wind whispered, I fell deep
I dreamt of the blue night sky, disappearing clouds
The cool air rocked my mind till I heard sounds

Suddenly the blue night sky began to turn navy
And there was confusion, the clouds got wavy
Then came a forest, the depth not apparent
The sound was like a hushed battlefield from a distance

Shot back to reality, there was a thick atmosphere
The air not so cool and loud silence, something is here
I turned my light on and looked carefully around
Satisfied, I heaved a deep sigh before looking at the ground

It stood there staring at me and my light
Daring me to do my worst, put on my best fight
It had my calculated moves on its wing
As soon as I launched, its legs also took a swing

My five foot eleven inches of lethal godlessness got up
Against its quarter of an inch pestilence from the ground up
A tenth of a second was too long a time to give it
Its speed surpassed fast, I needed to end it

The little bag of scum disappeared in a blink
Fear like leprosy befell my omnipotence, think!
Madness engrossed my mind, it had vanished
I kicked down furniture, this battle hadn't finished

I felt movement, I picked up my light and my weapon
My weapon, a size eight in all its glory, leathered and hard
A device that brought out the caramel that are my feet
The protection I used to walk to avoid being gashed

I looked towards the wardrobe, there it was, waiting
Injured, one limb obscured, it was calculating
it came out forging surrender, but it retreated
It repeated the tactic twice more, it knew it was defeated

I waited and waited, the little monster tested my patience
I dreaded the thought of revisiting slumber, negligence
Even the air intently anticipated what would happen next
So did my weapon

It got hotter, the freight train in my chest kept chugging
From the corner of my eyes, I saw its little head scurrying
I prepared myself, I prepared my mind and my weapon
I smiled, I mused at my emotional erection, I had the felon

With every strength and threat
I wiped my head, wiped the sweat
I executed my little skilled plan and approach
*blows on my bicep guns*
I killed the muthafucking 'roach

Unequal

Sweat beads and raindrops
Mystical forms and dark shadows
Never understood why my throat caught a lump
I was going to tell you
But you knew, Lord knows.

I knew?

Yes.
The dryness of my tongue
When you smile at me
Or even the ceasing of air in my lungs
I underestimated the availability of my emotions
You never saw it coming either
the heavy roar of the thunder
The swift mirage of lightening

Oh dear, what are you saying?

Wait. Let me speak
This has long reached its peak
The tickle of your eyes on my skin
Creates sharp whispers deep down within
I say all these not to win your heart

Good, you shoulda stopped from the start.

I say them just so you can hear
So that this time next year
I can look at all the love notes and tear
Because this has become too much to bear

You still haven't reached your point.

I do not want to speak amiss
I need you to read my lips

Your lips?

My lips.
Your hips.
Our lips.
The sweet and soft experience I long for

Oh.

I tread softly.
The eggshells and glass shards
They still cut deeply
But the blood it weeps
Unpumped because my heart still skips

I understand.

I'm glad.
My pride demands
That I say no more
I long for what now lies in store
For the silence I have now broken
What I shoulda left unspoken
May backfire
And the storm may spark the fire
The hell I dreaded.

No.

Its not for you to decide
This is under the reign of time
Under its law, I'll abide
And see the justice of my crime

Devourer; Thief!

Last week

When he finished
He wiped my forehead
Breathing, panting, his face now softer
With satisfaction
I watched his sausage fingers
The ugly yellow stains in his nails
Doing his buttons back up
Realisation set in and his expression changed
He watched me carefully
Trying to read my mind
If only he knew

From the moment it began
I had planned his death
My screams were mute to him
He would pay
I gave him my trust and my love
He pawned it for the lust of his ego
He stole my innocence
And snuck into the dark to devour it
The beads of sweat on his head
I would soon tie his neck with and suffocate him
I looked down at my legs
Still shaking

I was asleep
I opened my eyes when
I heard the room door open
And close
Silence.
As I shut my eyes to go back to sleep
I felt the pig's hands on my shoulder
Everything else that ensued, my childhood witnessed
It died and its spirit left my body
And watched.

He forced my legs open
His dark eyes had turned green with wicked
Lust.
Dirty desire that he chose to
satisfy with my virtue
His monster entered me and chased out every love
Ate up every humanity
And dismembered every compassion I had for his kind
I begged him.
I pleaded.
He wouldn't even stop for one moment
A man on a mission.

Today

The way his eyes stared at me
With shock? Repentance?
I wish I could tell,
I also wish I cared.
I opened his jaw, his mouth
Brought out his tongue
And wiped the knife on it.
I wanted him to taste the torment he caused me.
In his blood.
I picked the right place to draw it from too,
The part that defined his gender.
I smiled at him.
My childhood, his manhood
Now we're even.

Exit.





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Crime

I gave you my gun
And you shot me with it
You were meant to be my defence
I thought I had escaped the bench
Cos you had vouched for me
But there was never a need for the bench
The judgement had already been passed

You sold me out to my enemy
All the times I pleaded my case with you
That was for my own pocket
The bridge of intimacy we built
That was just my imagination
You made me stand tall and I was executed
You kept my head for yourself to play with
What was my crime?

You stabbed me in the back
And left my fingerprints on it
It was so easy to convince the jury
You were the jury
I applaud your streamline mindset
I admire the iceberg you have for a heart
It must help cool your head and keep it from overheating

But its cool though
One thing I love about you,
Is that with all your devilish deeds
You still stand firm in your claim of righteousness
You would swear a million lives that
its all in the best interests of the greater good

And so I'm here
Noose in one hand, pick axe in the other
For the sake of what we had,
I'll give you the pleasure of choosing
I already served my punishment
Courtesy of you
I'm here to make the crime a manifestation
In your reality
It won't be as hostile as you made mine
But it will hurt a lot more

So the next time you want to dance with the devil
Make sure you're a fan of sharp pitch forks
And red hot heat



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With Child

That's your excuse?
Because she was with child
The both of you wrecked
the foundation of a child' perception of love
Because she was carrying the seed
That you accidentally planted

The guiltless harvest
Look at her, damaged yet seemingly unscathed
Cold with a heart of stone yet she cries
She's become the epitome of pain
Only because she had the knack to be strong
The child, grown with a mindset of regret
That's on you because your excuse is
you were pregnant with her

Why didn't you go your separate ways?
Its not like you had given her hopes of a ring
You just invaded her private ring
In the name of sexual healing
Of hurt from the previous commitments you both had
To other people
People who are no longer in the picture
And so you conceived agony

I weep for the uninvolved result
Who had to be involved because she became a witness
A witness to a mentality that disagreed with itself
She watched for time to make sense of the stupidity
But two more seeds fell into your thighs
And now there's a dead end
An end that was supposed to be caused by only death
You saw a losing battle yet you fought it
You raised a mourning soldier

The sanctimony you called a matrimony
You only just realise the ride has been phoney
Lost in the graveyard of false profession
How could you swim in three decades of deceit
And not expect to come out wet with tarnish
I feel for the human looking bag of destruction
you brought into this world
Not because she's a victim,
Oh dear, no she's most definitely not a victim,
But because she saw through the pretence
And see the definition of love as trash

I shudder at the thought
Of what the visual image of her heart
Would look like
I imagine you would see all the cracks
Caused by all the fights and emotional insults
You would see the pimple looking spots
Where all the pointless rectifications were attempted
The burns left when her heart had to be jolted back
When it stopped working
And scattered along the top half, you would see bite marks
Bite marks that represent what she did to herself
The times she tried to give each of you her heart
Because neither of you were giving each other yours

I could go on
And don't get me started
on the second and third children
But the devastated look on your faces tells me
That you might understand what you did
You make me sick
Not because of what your mistake was
But because your excuse is
You were with child

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SG™

The End

The air is thick and
everything seems to have stopped
I know what my hands did
but my body does not
Adrenaline
tick tock tick tock there's a red mist
Its cold, my stomach is asleep...or numb
I can't seem to feel anything
So I look down at my work

There it is,
Slowly the melancholy begins to fade
I'm not sure what the whispers in my head are
But the sweat feels hot
The dull throbbing
It has a build up
The trickle of blood has made it real
The agony is becoming so intense
Where have my senses gone?
Overtaken

I can feel the panic gushing in
What flows through my veins, spilling out
I blink but in x100 slow motion
My brows curve in confusion
And with utter pain
Unbearable
Should I call someone?
Or should I wait this out
Till my goal is achieved.

My internal organs begin to scream
They didn't see it coming
I didn't even think my hands would do it
I didn't see it coming
My shirt is drenched
My hand still on the knife
I feel myself falling backwards
Losing consciousness
My body trembles

An unpleasant affliction
Pain like never before
this exceeds what got me here
Its x1000 magnified
Its defies the intellect
Of my understanding
Life has slowed down
For me
I can neither hear or utter sound

And so I wait
For the verdict of the creator
I bet He's angry
The hand I dealt
Destroyed the works of His hands
And so I wait
I look forward to the permanent silence







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SG™