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Saturday, 3 December 2011

My Journey

Hey all!!!
This post was written by one of my favourite people in the world and I had to share it with you guys. He/she has requested not to be mentioned and so here goes....


It hurts. That I loved you. That I cared. That I looked in your eyes and saw my very soul. That I was my best for you. It hurts.
I remember when we first met. It was a blind date the cinemas. The first time I saw you. Something happened on the inside. You made me shy. Very shy. Then we did not see again for months. I thought of you a lot. I dreamt too.
I remember our first kiss. It stamped your ownership on my heart. I can still taste your tender lips. I remember when I uttered the forbidden words. "I love you". I did. I do. I don't know.
I remember my first time. You were gentle. Scarred even. I was ready for it. The pain. Then pleasure. You owned my body along with my heart. My love.
I became happier. A better person. Talking to you made everything better. It felt so good to feel that way. To want someone to be happy because they made you happy.
We barely saw each other but when we did it was the best feeling ever. A beautiful memory made.
I saw the end at the begining. He wouldn't love me enough to make me his totally. To be tied to me. He wasn't like the rest of them but he wasn't so different either.
Then we started to drift apart. I put in all the effort even when I knew there was little I could do to stop the end from happening.
I bottled the hurt. Smiled like everything was okay. Then I broke down. Cried it out in the darkness. I spoke to myself "Mercy you are full of love. You've become a better person. You've loved before you'll love again. You deserve to be happy."
I wiped my tears. Back to square one. I could feel the void but it did not stop me from being happy...
...I looked up and saw him. He is cute and laid back. He's a good guy. He makes me feel something. I hope I don't hurt him. I like when he laughs and when he makes me laugh. He might get there. But this happened so fast. I pray fear won't hold me back.
My name is mercy. I'm on a journey. To live, learn and love. There are no regrets. Just painful lessons.

Email me @ shayo.grass@gmail.com if you have been touched or can relate to this journey...
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