Is Sex The Foundation Of a Relationship

HEY GUYS,

How have you been? I feel like I haven't written in a while lol this is something I never intended to write about because MANY people have DIFFERENT views on sex and it has that word in it.

First of all I will give a straight forward answer= No, and then comes my reason why.

Scenario 1) Two people meet and obvious they're so in awe of each other and they like each other so much- the usual thing is the girl (girl A) says she's not ready and the guy (dude A), still excited about the fact that he got her, says "I'll wait for you,baby, cos i LOVE you"

Scenario 2) A guy (dude B) and a girl (girl B) who have been friends for heaven knows how long, suddenly start to realise that they'd like to be more than just friends and so they start going out and stuff

So someone says "a relationship can never work unless they are having sex" even though i disagree, i understand why the person would say that- this is the 21st century, apart from the fact that everybody (even primary school kids) is doing it, we are surrounded by sex. Advert= sex, music video= sex, film= more sex, food packing= sex, Disney channels= ridiculous attempts to hide the sexual connotations. So it's almost like the world revolves around sex but that is not the case.

After 6 months, dude A starts to lose patience because it HAS been 6 months, what could she be waiting for? so he asks her about it and she either says "I'm still not ready" or "I'm waiting till I get married" let's say for arguments sake he's not afraid of the word marriage so he says "okay, I'll wait for you cos I CARE about you a lot"

After 6 months, dude B's friends are making fun of him because he's too scared to get his girl to have sex with him. You'd think that after being friends with her for so long -WITHOUT HAVING SEX WITH HER- he'd know that he doesn't need to rush anything. He starts to think "maybe she doesn't love me back" so he confronts her about it and she says "i love you, i just don't think sex is the way to prove it"

I don't know if I portrayed it well in my stories but did you notice that dude A suddenly can't say he loves her? and dude B doesn't trust that she loves him because they haven't had sex

girl A and girl B start talking and then they realise they're in the same predicament. Girl A decides that, sex will occur when she's ready and if he doesn't respect that- he knows where to go. Girl B decides that in order not to lose her friend and boyfriend, she'll have sex with him.

A month later...

dude A: why can't we just do it? do you not see me like that cos I have needs you know!! It's not easy for me, in my past relationships, we did it within a month!!

girl A: I know you have needs, you're a guy but I strongly believe our relationship isn't based on sex because I'm very attracted to you and I see you as a lot more than that- and if your past relationships where you've done it within a month were so great, why is it non-existent now? Trust me I get those feelings too but I need you to respect the fact that I'm ready to control myself and not act on it- I told you from the beginning that I was not ready, it's not like I deceived you- you knew what you were getting yourself into and I apologise if I misled you in anyway into thinking that I would change my mind. If you can't respect that, I understand, let's end it right now

dude A: no let's not do that, I'll wait for you- it'll be very hard but i will because i LOVE and RESPECT you

______________

dude B: (just had sex) I love you

girl B: I love you too ***but in her mind, she realises that she had to have sex with him to prove her love for him and although she does love him, for the remaining time of their relationship, she's not sure if his love for her is real or if he's confusing LUST for LOVE

In my opinion, sex just makes a relationship even more complicated especially when its between immature people. only people who are not mentally grown (and therefore should not be doing it) would think sex is what keeps their relationship together because it's not. I know a couple who went out for about a year and a half and got married without even kissing- their first kiss was on their wedding day and they were VERY much in love with each other.

It's healthy in a relationship to be intimate and close but to have the mentality that sex is what your relationship needs for it to grow or be a success is suicide for what yo share with that person- you need to first BE in love with that person- flaws and all. And if you're reading this and you're thinking "yes, Shayo, preach" if your boyfriend or girlfriend thinks like that- you need to have a talk with them cos there might be something about you that makes them think if you're not sexing them then you don't love them.

TILL NEXT TIME, GUYS!!!